TTTS STAGE 1

"God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference."
~Reinhold Neibuhr

 

Well as you all already know we officially have TTTS. Baby A (Hudson) Is in 6cm of fluid and weighs 5oz, Baby B(Hunter) is in little to no fluid and weighs 4oz, Dr. Stanley had a hard time seeing a bladder due to him having such little fluid.

There are so many questions and decisions and unknowns. Its something you HAVE to take day by day because it could change for the better or take a turn for the worst at any min.

Usually TTTS babies are weeks apart growth wise (more than 20%). Mine aren't. Also, usually the recipient baby (A) Is in more than 8cm of fluid. Mine is still considered normal at 6cm. But the donor baby (B) is already in danger with his fluid level. I'm not sure how he survives with none or when it starts effecting his growth. So my doctor used the word "borderline" to describe me.

I just knew when i went to the doctor Fri everything was going to be fine. I got let down. Which is not a good thing this early on.

I keep thinking about the odds of all of this happening...from twins...to identical twins....to ttts....there is hardly a chance for any of it.

Back to my doctor. He said ironically he had sent 2 other ladies to Houston for surgery this week....he said it is rare that this happens. He said it comes in spurts though. He called down to Houston after i left to talk to the surgeon about me and to see if the second lady had needed the surgery once she got down there. He called me shortly after and let me know that he and the surgeon decided that he would see me Tue (tomorrow) and see where we needed to go from there. They cant do surgery until stage 2 because it is so risky, and with stage 1 you at least have a chance of it turning around. Still i was borderline, i am praying to god above for a miracle before tomorrow. I just want these babies to here and for us to all 4 just live happily ever after. Pregnancy has NOT been a fun time for me, after a miscarriage and now this. I will be the happiest person alive once i know they are here and ok. Once i started talking about it on FB. My hairdresser said she had a friend going through the same thing....i was thinking, well how odd is that. So i messaged her on FB and it happened to be the lady my Dr. was calling to check on when he called about me.....I am glad i have someone to visit with who knows how i feel now. She hasnt had the surgery and has remained in stage 1 for 4 weeks now. She is split on what to do as far as treatment options. I feel sorry for her. This is the most terrible thing to have to go though.  I just want to be normal and have a normal pregnancy. Its almost unfair.

Just please keep praying for us as we try to stay strong and faithful.

 

http://www.tttsfoundation.org/index.php

NURSERY IDEAS!

 

 

COLORS, TEXTURES AND PATTERNS!

I am not going with an actual theme for the babies room.

I don't like "themes" its too boring and they cant really grow with it.

And you cant really make it gender neutral if needed (hoping that's the case).

I have a VERY funky style and this could get interesting. Lol.

I like vintage, rustic and bold. I also like modern and simple.

I like calm neutral colors as well.

We have decided the babies will share a room for a while, possibly even a crib for the first few months. (We will see how well it works)

I think it will be easier until they start waking each other up and rolling over on each other.

And per all the advice Ive gotten, its the way to go.

A very nice friend of mine gave me a crib and changing table which is dark and matches the trim in my house perfectly!

We will start out with that for both babies and will buy a  second when we find one we like, because no matter what we are going to need another at some point, that's a given.

 If they can't sleep together for some reason we will need it for a back up.

I am for sure sticking to the dark wood cribs and not the white ones that are in most of the nurseries in these pics. Most of those houses have white trim and molding and so the bed fits in well.

Ours has dark knotty alder.

I like them but they are just not me. They dont fit in with our house nor our lifestyle.

We have barnyard feet, dirty hands and two little curious weenie dogs who i can see jumping up on the cribs to check on their new brothers! Lol. Not a good mix for a pretty white crib.

 



15 WEEKS (3DAYS)

How far along? 15 Weeks, 3 Days
Total weight gain/loss: Not sure now. Im too afraid to look when they weigh me.

Maternity clothes? 1 pair of maternity leggings and luckily someone gave me some maternity jeans. I offically outgrew my jeans over the weekend and my dress pants are on their last string.
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: Up at least 2 4 times a night to pee and tossing and turning.

Best moment this week: Buying a few preemie sleepers. I couldnt resist. My mother in law bought some to, so that makes me feel better.
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? My blonde hair (i have already let my hair dresser know i cant take it.)

Movement: Flutters at times.
Food cravings: None.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Yes, BOOST! I seriously can barely look at them without gagging. Having to drink 3-4 a day.
Have you started to show yet: Yes, but i can still hide it pretty well.
Gender prediction: They are BOYSSSS! YAY!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time:  Scared Terrified.
Weekly Wisdom: TTTS is the FIRST thing women need to think about when they find out they are carrying identical twins.
Looking forward to: Friday, my high risk appointment, they called today and moved me up, it was Mon. To check fluid levels and the babies growth.

Dear god let it be BETTER or worst case STABLE.

PRAY...PRAY..PRAY!

(B)Hunter & (A)Hudson

Hunter is the smaller one 3 days behind Hudson and has less amniotic fluid, thats why he is a little harder to see.

Im praying for a miracle in 2 weeks when we go back to the doctor that the fluid has evened out or atleast stays stable until 26 weeks wich is when the babies can survive on the outside.

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.
Psalm 37:5,7

14 weeks.... is that a SQUIRREL?

My hubby ALWAYS makes me laugh. He knows i am stressed beoynd stressed right now. And worried and scared almost to the point its unbearable. I cry atleast once or twice a day, it just overwhelms me.

When i told him i didnt want to do a 14 week board he clearly disagreed. And even though it may not be accurate with the size of the babies (yes thats a squirrel)....lol. Its the thought that counts and it made me feel a little better. I walked in the room and seen his masterpiece and i was at a loss of words. Ha.

 I refused to take a picture with it bc i have not looked the best the last few days nor have i felt the best but i promised him i would put this up anyway.

 

14 Weeks 3 Days...Back on the roller coaster.

I haven't did a board this week and i am thinking about not doing one. We found out yesterday we are having identical BOYS (Hudson and Hunter). Yay!!! We were beyond excited! Everything looked awesome as she was measuring every inch and body part. Twin B (Hunter) is still 3 days behind Twin A (Hudson), which he has been all along. Both moving great and measuring great.

Then Dr. Stanley came in to have a look. He pointed out that the babies have different levels of amniotic fluid surrounding them.Which is a sign of TTTS (Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome).
It is where identical twins who share the same placenta either have to much or to little fluid which lead to major issues. There are 5 stages of progression. 1 in every 70,000 set of identical twins get TTTS. Sometimes it stays in stage 1 which is just uneven levels of fluid. If it goes to stage 2 i will have to go out of state for a risky placenta surgery to laser the blood vessels that connect the two babies so they cant steal from eachother.
If left un treated one or both of the babies can die due to different reasons.
Ive been doing LOTS of research and as long as they are 20% of eachother and not progressing they will be ok.
The doctor did a GREAT job of scaring me. He went straight to explaing death for the babies and surgery and to be honest my head was spinning and i had to ask Houston what all he said when we got home that night. I was planning on finding out the genders and going shopping! Instead i cried and cried in the parking lot after Houston left for work. I cried all day. I wanted him to stay at home with me and just hold me. I couldnt believe i had THIS feeling again....afraid to buy anything incase something happens and then you have to look at it......the afraid to be happy feeling.....the numb and empty feeling......WHY ME???? AGAIN???? Just when you look foward to something happy and possibly an end to the miscarriage fears. If we wouldnt have already had names i probably wouldnt even have named them. We are now back on the emotional roller coaster.
So i am on 4 Boost high protien shakes a day, plus normal meals and pre natal vitamins and extra foilc acid and protien bars......I feel like i could pop or puke any min.
The protien is supposed to help the placenta and babies so im trying my best bc im all for anything i can do that helps.
 I go back to Dr. Stanley 2 weeks to check the fluid and growth of the babies and get a better idea on whats going on. I go to Dr. Lashbrook the following week, she dosent know about all of this. Im thinking about seeing if Dr. Stanley delivers and if i can just transfer to him since ill have to see him SO much anyway....it crazy to pay 2 doctors for ones work...he is high risk and a specialist. Makes me feel ALOT better.
I am a wreck. Im sure bed rest is just around the corner for me.....GREAT, so i can lay at home and be depressed all day...all week....and just think.
I knew something bad was around the corner, it was just too good to be true to have no sickness, no symptoms....This tops it all.
I may have a little pessimistic attitude toward it all but if you would have heard him you would to.
Even though they are A OK right now, it could take a turn for the worst at any minute.
We need LOTS of prayers and thoughts....LOTSSSS. Im not sure how this is all going to end up but im trying to believe and stay positive as best as i can. I just want the babies to be ok. =(
Please Pray for us.

GOODBYE HARD WORK AND LAST SUMMERS BODY!

Let me be the first to say.......

When you look decent, you don't really realize it until you don't look like it anymore. Lol.

I'm taking it as it goes.

I busted my ass last summer to look like this and these pics will be my motivation to kick ass again after the babies are born.

Winter is always a lazy....couped up...eating fest in the first place.

I'm usually at least tanning to make up for it.....Nooooo, not this winter.

And top that off with a little dose of pregnancy, not to mention twins and it just does not do a body good. Lol.

Dear body and blonde hair,

i will see you soon!



13 WEEKS 3 DAYS! 2nd Ultrasound!

BABY B

                                                                      

                                                                          BABY A

13 WEEKS!

Sorry for the delay in posting.

This board has been a little more time consuming than i thought.

My gram and new baby niece have both been in the hospital lately

and that has held it up a little as well.

I kinda just threw something together and didn't spend much time on this one. Not to mention i look like crap after a long day at work. And its hanging crooked as hell on my wall.

But hey, its the pic of the bump that matters the most anyway right?

Also instead of the normal little questionnaire with the same ol questions, i think i am going mix it up a little and just tell you whats been up!

I have gotten to eat Buffalo Wild Wings twice since that's what i have been craving like a mad dog! I'm kinda over it at this point. Not been craving anything, just been hungry. I have to eat/snack ever 3 hours or i feel like i could faint. lol.

Still have no typical pregnancy symptoms.....The babies have been good to their momma so far....hope they can keep it up =)

I am finding it hard to get in comfortable positions to sleep, i know i am suppose to be sleeping on my left side but i am a stomach sleeper and it is pure HELL.

And the the frequent trips to the bathroom at night to add to the mix....I am up to 3x. Lol. And its JUST starting....lol.

On Monday we had our second appointment with Dr.Lashbrook.

 I was sooo nervous and my blood pressure was high when they initially checked it. After some laying down and relaxing it went back to normal.

She said she would like me to go 37 weeks which would make the due date June 22nd. She said i might only go to 35 though. And bed rest was mentioned again. Blahhhh!

Oh and oddly enough i hadn't gained one single pound since the last visit! Holy Moly! Those little bambinos must be hungry!

 We got more pics of the babies and got to see them moving around again, and they looked great and were the size they needed to be! I also seen the dentist and eye doctor all in the same day. Hey i need to be in tip top condition for this little journey that's about to happen! Lol.

Also this week we did the pencil/string/needle test just for fun.

 My aunt Trisha said it has worked on numerous people she knows including my sister and cousin. So we did it twice and each time it said boy/girl. Sure hope it is right.

I have been seeking out every woman i know who has had multiples and asking all the questions i can.

So far the 3 people i know who has went to the same high risk doctor as me have found out the genders at 10, 12 and 13 weeks.

I will be a little over 14 weeks when i go Monday! Eeeeeek!

 I cant wait for the 3d ultrasound!

I almost don't want to know in a way... because if there are 2 girls....Houston is going to SHIT! And i don't want to deal with him for another 6 months not to mention the rest of our lives....lol. Poor Houston will be over ran by girls!

Lets get back to hoping for 2 boys, 2 little team ropers...the next generation of the MRCA rodeos. Blah blah....

Boy/Girl would be the ideal situation.

As long as they are HEALTHY i will be HAPPY and i know he will to!

First Trimester Loves!

 

1.MUSTELA STRETCH MARKS SURVIVAL KIT-

Seriously been using this stuff religiously. I hate the smell

of Palmer's and Cocoa Butter and most lotion that serves a purpose but Mustela smells amazing.

I got the kit which includes a hydration lotion and the stretch marks cream,

 it is a little pricey but when i found out there was 2 in the oven and

not 1....i decided i gotta get serious in this area.

2.BURT'S BEES MAMA BEE BELLY BUTTER-

A thick scentless alternative to the Mustela at more than 1/2 the price.

Some times i mix them, some times i use them both back to back.

If nothing else its a great back up.

3.BURT'S BEES MAMA BEE NOURISHING BODY OIL-

This oil smells like lemons!!! I let it soak in while I'm in the shower (not the way to apply, but like i said I'm going all out) lol, wash it off

and the apply it before the Mustela. It has Vitamin E in it and it is really light weight.

Its not sticky and its even safe enough to use on the babies.

4.CRYSTAL LIGHT SKIN ESSENTIALS DRINK MIX- 

Sooooooo sick of water.....But this stuff amps it up a little bit.

I carry a stash around in my purse, in my desk at work and i keep it at home.

And even better, its good for your skin..(which again i am really going to need) It was actually developed with nutritionist and dermatologist. It contains antioxidants, vitamins and plant extract such as lutein and zeaxanthin to help nourish the skin.

5.BELLI ELASTICITY BELLY OIL-

Belli is a physician-formulated product. I bought it because it says "To prepare your body for stretching"....lol. Its prob my least favorite smelling product so far, it supposed to smell like lavender...i don't think so...and its a heavier oil than the Burt's Bees. Its also a lot more expensive. But if it works, hey I'm all for it. We shall see. The aromatherapy benefit of lavender is supposed to help you sleep also.

6.A PEA IN THE POD MATERNITY LEGGINGS-

I have seriously worn these at least twice a week (and on the weekends) since i bought them. They have a fleece type lining in them and they are thick so you cant see through them. They do not have the panel in the belly area (i cant force myself to wear jeans or pants with the panel yet). They come up high enough and are loose enough that they don't cut me and what little bump i have in half though.

SOOOO COMFY!

7.SCARVES-

My total obsession right now. I bet i have 20+.

I like the light, thin ones. And if you know me....the funkier, the better.

They are long enough to cover up my mini bump and boobs i have accumulated lately, and they are just enough to dress up something plain. The light ones can be worn in the spring and summer as well. (Which is when i will need them the most).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Few Animals Around The Harris Ranch

12 WEEKS.

How far along? 12 Weeks, 3 Days
Total weight gain/loss: + 5lbs and amazingly holding....not sure how at the rate im eating.
Maternity clothes? 1 pair of maternity leggings.
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Up at least 2 times a night to pee. And sometimes to eat if i don't eat late enough.
Best moment this week: Being off work a few extra days and spending them with Houston.
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Realllllyyyy wanted some wine on New Years eve & Tanning.
Movement: Not yet
Food cravings: Buffalo wild wings and lucky charms.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Yes, had my first sensitive smell puking moment this week. Blah!
Have you started to show yet: A little bump so far.
Gender prediction: Boy/Girl (fingers crossed)
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy and Scared.
Weekly Wisdom: Bought some books on multiples today since i am clueless in this area.
Looking forward to: Monday.....my next doctors appointment and then the following Mon with the high risk doctor for the 3D ultrasound...Hoping they (or one) is a boy and they can take a good guess =)

12 WEEKS (3DAYS)! HAPPY NEW YEARS!